| v_v |
[May. 7th, 2009|03:39 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Meh | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
I has an exposed nerve in one of my teeth. Time to seek out cheap dental help. |
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| Kill me. |
[May. 4th, 2009|09:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Pain | ] |
I need to find a way to get to a dentist. I am possibly in the worst pain of my life. |
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| Bark. |
[Mar. 13th, 2009|04:27 am] |
Yes I'm alive. |
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| 6 |
[Oct. 17th, 2008|03:58 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Below the Gallows | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Bloody Kisses" by Type O Negative | ] |
I want to go home. |
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| Halloween |
[Oct. 13th, 2008|10:33 pm] |
I need wolf ears and a wolf tail for Halloween. To be more exact they are Harvest Ball. If anyone could help in anyway, that'd be amazing. The dorm is going as characters from Super Smash Bros. And I have wolf. Seriously any help, be it somwhere cheap to get them or tips for making them would amazing. Or you know if anyone could sned me some to borrow [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<_<>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] I need wolf ears and a wolf tail for Halloween. To be more exact they are Harvest Ball. If anyone could help in anyway, that'd be amazing. The dorm is going as characters from Super Smash Bros. And I have wolf. Seriously any help, be it somwhere cheap to get them or tips for making them would amazing. Or you know if anyone could sned me some to borrow <_< >_> |
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| One reason why living at a college is nice. |
[Oct. 7th, 2008|04:27 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | A chair. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Swayey | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Brand New Day" by Dr.Horrible | ] |
Dr.Horrible is one of the best things on the internet. Go look it up, or buy it, however it is online for free, a quick google search should lead you there. |
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| Stolen from Oreo <3 |
[Oct. 1st, 2008|02:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Country Boner(Disco Version)" by Puscifer | ] |
A : Easy to fall in love with.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : one in a million.
E : Great in bed.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You are Quirky.
I : Great in bed.
J : People Adore you
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Unbelievably great in bed.
M : best kisser ever.
N : You like to drink.
O : Crazy
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
S : You love to drink
R : Fucking crazy.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgmental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
Z : Always ready.
---
A: Easy to fall in love with.
Y: best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
S: You love to drink
H: You are Quirky.
Since that one is fail, lets try this.
A : Easy to fall in love with.
N : You like to drink.
D : one in a million.
R : Fucking crazy.
E : Great in bed.
W : You are very broad minded.
And fail again, accuracy I cannot has. |
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| Dissapointed. |
[Aug. 13th, 2008|12:52 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Portland | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | No idea. | ] |
So as some of you may know I've been living in Portland with my boyfriend for the last few months and as you may also know, my boyfriend is moving into the dorms soon and I can't move in with him so i've been trying to find another living situation. I was supposed to get a place with a friend or more but as it turns out, that looks unlikely.
At first it was supposed to be simple but then she decided she didn't want an apartment and that she wanted a house, well things didn't work out with that. So now because of her, how can I put this, childish decision I feel I am now for lack of a better word fucked. Everyone who is friends with me on LJ should know that I try very hard to be a chill person, and when something comes up I try to see all sides and usually end up blaming myself. Well for once, I am not blaming myself.
Since I've come out here things have not been great. I was rather hesitant to leave New Jersey in the first place but Peter and our friend assured me I was just worrying too much. Turns out I've been right about everything from the first land lady giving me a bad feeling to knowing deep down our friend was gonna stop caring and break a promise to me. And I feel the worse part of it is that she doesn't even realize some of this, maybe more, is her fault and I am fucked over for it.
Its funny though because I'm not really mad at anyone, probably because I know how most people are and that eventually they turn out like nearly everyone else. Just because someone seems a certain way at first doesn't mean they won't screw you over in a heart beat.
At least I know which friends I can count on. At this point maybe its time I stop being so nice to everyone and trying to see the best in people as it usually comes back around to hit me in the ass. The other thing is I put my life in other peoples hands and watched them kill so many chances I had. Had I never left NJ I would have had a job, maybe health insurance and maybe be getting ready to start some college. Instead I let people persuade me into something else and then fucking burn it.
Just because you want to believe you did everything right doesn't mean its true. Turn a blind eye to the dying man and what eventually happens? |
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| Sleepless nights and the missuse of to and too |
[May. 19th, 2008|04:52 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Peter's apartment | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Scorpion Flower" by Moonspell | ] |
(This is a prologue please leave feedback, positive or negative, constructive or not.)
A systematic shut down occurs as civilized society falls into a ravishing chaos that seems too transcend anything that I have ever seen before. I must admit that the gallows humor of watching these people descend into madness is some what more then amusing. Go ahead, call me twisted but not before I reveal that all of this has been done by my doing. You see someone in my position is bound to get a little power mad every once in a while and I figured what better way then watching these so called "evolved" beings revert back to what is really on the inside. Now, now before you get these thoughts of me suffering from a severe case of dementia let me explain one little thing; in terms that would make sense too someone such as yourself all I did was flick the equivalent of a light switch, thats all. Isn't it amazing what happens to a millennia of culture and advancement when you make things go dark?
Then again at the exact same moment when things look bleakest isn't it a marvel how some small shred of illumination always appears to keep the darkness at bay. Sadly, in this case I already know the fate that awaits the last fleeting spark of this world. You see, even when a God goes power hungry there is usually a reason for it. You may be thinking to yourself "what is the point of this?", well in all honesty I am simply providing you the beginning of what the real tale is. I will not lie to you though, this story does not have a happy ending for what feeds the minds of men is something far darker then what I have set in motion... |
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| Next part of that thing I wrote a while ago. |
[Feb. 21st, 2008|03:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Face of Melinda" by Opeth | ] |
Beneath the depths of this dark and stagnant mire I can feel my will begin to return. It is as though there is a dull pulsing in my head, or perhaps, is it my heart? My eyes slowly open to the bleak reality that faces me. My whole world is spinning, nothing more then dark silhouettes laughing at me in the night. "Night, is it even night?" As the fog in my head begins to evaporate the silhouettes begin to fill in, no longer the laughing demons I thought them to be but merely the limbs of the trees swaying in the wind. I try to muster the strength to sit up but can do no more then lift my head, still it is enough for me to know where I am. The night sky has a vague orange glow to it as if God himself has lit a candle to guide his path through the shadows. "There can be no shadows without light" I think to myself, the daze still lingering in my head.
Thats when it hits me, the smell of cinders racing through my nostrils. Suddenly my daze is gone and my sight is as clear as day, the smell of burning and of death is all around me. The embers flowing upwards from my home into the sky as if hell itself is rising upwards to confront the heavens. Panic does not set in as one would think, perhaps I am too far gone for panic, or maybe I knew it would come to this long ago. The memories begin fluttering back into my head, the townsfolk coming with their torches and symbols of faith, the club coming at me and then the dark. I look down at my feet and see the rope clenching to them, the end frayed as if just broken from a knot. After a moment of thought I decide that for whatever reason the fates may have, this was not the time for my spirit to begin its next journey. I untie the rope from my feet and with a deep breath and the aid of a kindly but wilted tree I am able to stand. The mire is all around me, "such fitting scenery" I think aloud, the orange in the sky has already begun to fade over what was once my home however, to the west of that the flames of a dozen torches make their own faint glow. "Vengeance?" I think to myself, I shake my head telling myself no. "Atonement" I decide upon calling it, a home for a home. With another deep breath I begin to take my first steps toward the torches, leaving my old life behind. As I walk through the night I no longer know what to think, with a torn heart and regret filled eyes I realize that the scent of death was not coming from the mire but it was coming from me.
~Khons |
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| Tagged |
[Feb. 17th, 2008|04:56 am] |
A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B. Tag seven people to do the same.
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag 'whoever wants to do it.
1. I dislike my own writing an incredible amount.
2. I tend to be smarter then I act for fear of people thinking that I will look down upon them.
3. I love lighting incense and listening to the rain.
4. My mind is usually in a conflict of being kind and silly or dark and brooding. Both feel natural surprisingly enough.
5. I despise myself and feel childish and insecure for doing so.
6. I speak in metaphors that explain alot about my inner thought process most people overlook.
7. At heart I am dark romantic madly in love but am devastated by the fact my words will never be able to match the feelings I have and that I am bound to go through life without ever uttering the words I feel will sum everything up with a beautiful simplicity. Also after reading that it is redundant but I'm tired so I'm going to leave it how is.
I tag whoever wants to do it, seeing as how tagging isn't really my thing. ^_^ |
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| Blah |
[Jan. 15th, 2008|06:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bed | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | sick | ] |
Spent alot of yesterday in the hospital due to stomach problems. Feeling better today but solid food hurts. |
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| Yay! Well, hopefully anyways ^_^ |
[Jan. 8th, 2008|12:15 pm] |
I has a job interview at best But on Saturday. Yay!!! Any tips, tricks or cheats :P anyone can give me for the interview would great. I've only ever had two and one was pretty much an assured job. ^_^
Also time it took for them to reply to me: Finished online app. 4:00am EST Time Best Buy called me 11:37am EST. ^_^ |
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| Happy New Year! |
[Jan. 1st, 2008|12:10 am] |
Happy New Year (Eastern Time) to all my firends, furry, human, or other. Hope you have a good night and no hang overs!!! ^_^ |
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Actual Update, not just me bitching!!! Well....kinda [ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<_<>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Actual Update, not just me bitching!!! Well....kinda <_< >_> |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|08:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | The Fluffy Gallows | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Autumn Harmony" by For My Pain | ] |
Where to begin...Hmm...Oh I know! For anyone who likes horror Dead Alive is an awesome movie, yes I know its a cult classic but I just got around to watching it ^_^;;
Alright now for actual life stuff, or kind of ^_^;; My XBox360 recently suffer the red ring of death so I've been horridly bored for the most part. The other day Pete got me a month of WoW so that should keep me entertained until either 1)Get pissed off at computer lag. 2)Get tired of doing the same thing over and over and over again. 3)I chase my tail for so long I eventually pass out.
Now I guess is a good time to start with the bad news. As I'm sure all(or most) of you know I've been trying to get into the same college my mate goes to....Well, it isn't that I didn't get in its that I won't even get a chance to apply. As it turns out if I don't start college for the spring semester(starts in January) I will lose my health insurance. So now I have to go to a school I really don't want too and will probably have to wait even longer before I can start trying to make my own way in life.
In all honesty no one knows exactly what will happen to me if I go off my medication, in fact the only thing that is known is that it won't be good. The most probable thing is that I'll slip back into how I was and then continue downward. And yes sometimes I consider how things might be if I just said fuck it and did what I want without worrying about my health and sometimes its hard convincing myself the six months of happiness isn't worth it. The problem isn't that I have no motivation in life, its that I am simply unable to do what I want to and it isn't even in my power to control.
Anyway, I figured since my last couple of posts where just heavily filled with emo yummyness I would let people know what is going on with me. And also, my ears are listening for any words of advice anyone might wanna give. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2007|04:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | A Train Wrecked Love | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Written in Blood" by She Wants Revenge | ] |
Silently shivering in the bowels of a flame ravaged body.
Translation: I'm sick and I'm sad. Also apparently I've been lacking a creative outlet. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 9th, 2007|03:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | grewac | ] |
Please, just fucking kill me now. |
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| Reguarding my last post |
[Sep. 1st, 2007|01:18 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Glass | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Dust" by Winter's Thrall | ] |
My last post was something I wrote. It is the beginning (actually end) of a weird story idea I have. I do not know if I will continue it or not.
The reasone it is signed Khons is because that is a character of mine, an alter ego if you will. The reason I am posting this entry is because a certain someone *coughpetecough* couldn't tell what it was. So I figured id just make it post in case the other, what four of you (<3), were confused.
Also....give me feedback....pwease *makes big puppy eyes* If you no likey it just say why. I am well aware as a stand alone it doesn't make perfect sense but you can still see the quality(or lack thereof) in the writing itself. |
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firewolf209's journal
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