Hollow Cries of the Lunar Harmonics

v_v

2009-05-07T22:39:51Z

I has an exposed nerve in one of my teeth. Time to seek out cheap dental help.

Kill me.

2009-05-04T16:59:44Z

I need to find a way to get to a dentist. I am possibly in the worst pain of my life.

Bark.

2009-03-13T11:28:36Z

Yes I'm alive.

6

2008-10-17T11:00:40Z

I want to go home.

Halloween

2008-10-14T05:35:58Z

I need wolf ears and a wolf tail for Halloween. To be more exact they are Harvest Ball. If anyone could help in anyway, that'd be amazing. The dorm is going as characters from Super Smash Bros. And I have wolf. Seriously any help, be it somwhere cheap to get them or tips for making them would amazing. Or you know if anyone could sned me some to borrow

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One reason why living at a college is nice.

2008-10-07T11:30:00Z

Dr.Horrible is one of the best things on the internet. Go look it up, or buy it, however it is online for free, a quick google search should lead you there.

Stolen from Oreo <3

2008-10-01T09:29:21Z

A : Easy to fall in love with.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : one in a million.
E : Great in bed.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You are Quirky.
I : Great in bed.
J : People Adore you
K : You're wild and crazy.
L : Unbelievably great in bed.
M : best kisser ever.
N : You like to drink.
O : Crazy
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
S : You love to drink
R : Fucking crazy.
T : You're loyal to those you love.
U : You really like to chill.
V : You are not judgmental.
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You never let people tell you what to do.
Y : best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
Z : Always ready.
---
A: Easy to fall in love with.
Y: best boy/girl friend any one can ask for.
S: You love to drink
H: You are Quirky.

Since that one is fail, lets try this.

A : Easy to fall in love with.
N : You like to drink.
D : one in a million.
R : Fucking crazy.
E : Great in bed.
W : You are very broad minded.

And fail again, accuracy I cannot has.

Dissapointed.

2008-08-13T08:10:27Z

So as some of you may know I've been living in Portland with my boyfriend for the last few months and as you may also know, my boyfriend is moving into the dorms soon and I can't move in with him so i've been trying to find another living situation. I was supposed to get a place with a friend or more but as it turns out, that looks unlikely.

At first it was supposed to be simple but then she decided she didn't want an apartment and that she wanted a house, well things didn't work out with that. So now because of her, how can I put this, childish decision I feel I am now for lack of a better word fucked. Everyone who is friends with me on LJ should know that I try very hard to be a chill person, and when something comes up I try to see all sides and usually end up blaming myself. Well for once, I am not blaming myself.

Since I've come out here things have not been great. I was rather hesitant to leave New Jersey in the first place but Peter and our friend assured me I was just worrying too much. Turns out I've been right about everything from the first land lady giving me a bad feeling to knowing deep down our friend was gonna stop caring and break a promise to me. And I feel the worse part of it is that she doesn't even realize some of this, maybe more, is her fault and I am fucked over for it.

Its funny though because I'm not really mad at anyone, probably because I know how most people are and that eventually they turn out like nearly everyone else. Just because someone seems a certain way at first doesn't mean they won't screw you over in a heart beat.

At least I know which friends I can count on. At this point maybe its time I stop being so nice to everyone and trying to see the best in people as it usually comes back around to hit me in the ass. The other thing is I put my life in other peoples hands and watched them kill so many chances I had. Had I never left NJ I would have had a job, maybe health insurance and maybe be getting ready to start some college. Instead I let people persuade me into something else and then fucking burn it.

Just because you want to believe you did everything right doesn't mean its true. Turn a blind eye to the dying man and what eventually happens?

Any World of Warcraft players?

2008-08-11T04:45:18Z

ST gave me his beta invite for WotLK, Death Knight is broken in such a good way <3

Eh

2008-08-04T12:01:37Z

I was gonna post about my life and how the stress of it is unraveling my mind but instead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQnnws9sq9I

Sleepless nights and the missuse of to and too

2008-05-19T11:59:26Z

(This is a prologue please leave feedback, positive or negative, constructive or not.)

A systematic shut down occurs as civilized society falls into a ravishing chaos that seems too transcend anything that I have ever seen before. I must admit that the gallows humor of watching these people descend into madness is some what more then amusing. Go ahead, call me twisted but not before I reveal that all of this has been done by my doing. You see someone in my position is bound to get a little power mad every once in a while and I figured what better way then watching these so called "evolved" beings revert back to what is really on the inside. Now, now before you get these thoughts of me suffering from a severe case of dementia let me explain one little thing; in terms that would make sense too someone such as yourself all I did was flick the equivalent of a light switch, thats all. Isn't it amazing what happens to a millennia of culture and advancement when you make things go dark?
Then again at the exact same moment when things look bleakest isn't it a marvel how some small shred of illumination always appears to keep the darkness at bay. Sadly, in this case I already know the fate that awaits the last fleeting spark of this world. You see, even when a God goes power hungry there is usually a reason for it. You may be thinking to yourself "what is the point of this?", well in all honesty I am simply providing you the beginning of what the real tale is. I will not lie to you though, this story does not have a happy ending for what feeds the minds of men is something far darker then what I have set in motion...

Next part of that thing I wrote a while ago.

2008-02-21T21:30:25Z

Beneath the depths of this dark and stagnant mire I can feel my will begin to return. It is as though there is a dull pulsing in my head, or perhaps, is it my heart? My eyes slowly open to the bleak reality that faces me. My whole world is spinning, nothing more then dark silhouettes laughing at me in the night. "Night, is it even night?" As the fog in my head begins to evaporate the silhouettes begin to fill in, no longer the laughing demons I thought them to be but merely the limbs of the trees swaying in the wind. I try to muster the strength to sit up but can do no more then lift my head, still it is enough for me to know where I am. The night sky has a vague orange glow to it as if God himself has lit a candle to guide his path through the shadows. "There can be no shadows without light" I think to myself, the daze still lingering in my head.
Thats when it hits me, the smell of cinders racing through my nostrils. Suddenly my daze is gone and my sight is as clear as day, the smell of burning and of death is all around me. The embers flowing upwards from my home into the sky as if hell itself is rising upwards to confront the heavens. Panic does not set in as one would think, perhaps I am too far gone for panic, or maybe I knew it would come to this long ago. The memories begin fluttering back into my head, the townsfolk coming with their torches and symbols of faith, the club coming at me and then the dark. I look down at my feet and see the rope clenching to them, the end frayed as if just broken from a knot. After a moment of thought I decide that for whatever reason the fates may have, this was not the time for my spirit to begin its next journey. I untie the rope from my feet and with a deep breath and the aid of a kindly but wilted tree I am able to stand. The mire is all around me, "such fitting scenery" I think aloud, the orange in the sky has already begun to fade over what was once my home however, to the west of that the flames of a dozen torches make their own faint glow. "Vengeance?" I think to myself, I shake my head telling myself no. "Atonement" I decide upon calling it, a home for a home. With another deep breath I begin to take my first steps toward the torches, leaving my old life behind. As I walk through the night I no longer know what to think, with a torn heart and regret filled eyes I realize that the scent of death was not coming from the mire but it was coming from me.
~Khons

Tagged

2008-02-17T10:16:39Z

A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
B. Tag seven people to do the same.
C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag 'whoever wants to do it.

1. I dislike my own writing an incredible amount.
2. I tend to be smarter then I act for fear of people thinking that I will look down upon them.
3. I love lighting incense and listening to the rain.
4. My mind is usually in a conflict of being kind and silly or dark and brooding. Both feel natural surprisingly enough.
5. I despise myself and feel childish and insecure for doing so.
6. I speak in metaphors that explain alot about my inner thought process most people overlook.
7. At heart I am dark romantic madly in love but am devastated by the fact my words will never be able to match the feelings I have and that I am bound to go through life without ever uttering the words I feel will sum everything up with a beautiful simplicity. Also after reading that it is redundant but I'm tired so I'm going to leave it how is.

I tag whoever wants to do it, seeing as how tagging isn't really my thing. ^_^

Blah

2008-01-15T23:34:29Z

Spent alot of yesterday in the hospital due to stomach problems. Feeling better today but solid food hurts.

Yay! Well, hopefully anyways ^_^

2008-01-08T17:20:17Z

I has a job interview at best But on Saturday. Yay!!! Any tips, tricks or cheats :P anyone can give me for the interview would great. I've only ever had two and one was pretty much an assured job. ^_^

Also time it took for them to reply to me: Finished online app. 4:00am EST Time Best Buy called me 11:37am EST. ^_^

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T05:12:41Z

Happy New Year (Eastern Time) to all my firends, furry, human, or other. Hope you have a good night and no hang overs!!! ^_^

Actual Update, not just me bitching!!! Well....kinda
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Actual Update, not just me bitching!!! Well....kinda <_< >_>

2007-11-12T02:22:12Z

Where to begin...Hmm...Oh I know! For anyone who likes horror Dead Alive is an awesome movie, yes I know its a cult classic but I just got around to watching it ^_^;;

Alright now for actual life stuff, or kind of ^_^;; My XBox360 recently suffer the red ring of death so I've been horridly bored for the most part. The other day Pete got me a month of WoW so that should keep me entertained until either 1)Get pissed off at computer lag. 2)Get tired of doing the same thing over and over and over again. 3)I chase my tail for so long I eventually pass out.

Now I guess is a good time to start with the bad news. As I'm sure all(or most) of you know I've been trying to get into the same college my mate goes to....Well, it isn't that I didn't get in its that I won't even get a chance to apply. As it turns out if I don't start college for the spring semester(starts in January) I will lose my health insurance. So now I have to go to a school I really don't want too and will probably have to wait even longer before I can start trying to make my own way in life.

In all honesty no one knows exactly what will happen to me if I go off my medication, in fact the only thing that is known is that it won't be good. The most probable thing is that I'll slip back into how I was and then continue downward. And yes sometimes I consider how things might be if I just said fuck it and did what I want without worrying about my health and sometimes its hard convincing myself the six months of happiness isn't worth it. The problem isn't that I have no motivation in life, its that I am simply unable to do what I want to and it isn't even in my power to control.

Anyway, I figured since my last couple of posts where just heavily filled with emo yummyness I would let people know what is going on with me. And also, my ears are listening for any words of advice anyone might wanna give.

firewolf209 @ 2007-10-29T16:37:00

2007-10-29T20:44:24Z

Silently shivering in the bowels of a flame ravaged body.

Translation: I'm sick and I'm sad. Also apparently I've been lacking a creative outlet.

firewolf209 @ 2007-10-09T15:33:00

2007-10-09T19:34:50Z

Please, just fucking kill me now.

Reguarding my last post

2007-09-01T17:25:03Z

My last post was something I wrote. It is the beginning (actually end) of a weird story idea I have. I do not know if I will continue it or not.

The reasone it is signed Khons is because that is a character of mine, an alter ego if you will. The reason I am posting this entry is because a certain someone *coughpetecough* couldn't tell what it was. So I figured id just make it post in case the other, what four of you (<3), were confused.

Also....give me feedback....pwease *makes big puppy eyes* If you no likey it just say why. I am well aware as a stand alone it doesn't make perfect sense but you can still see the quality(or lack thereof) in the writing itself.

Bored.

2007-08-31T10:53:49Z

As I sit here writing what will be my final piece I feel as though I am betraying both myself and those who have found solace in my work. I have no tales of dark romance or fading realities for you tonight, instead I have nothing more then my last words. As disappointing as you will find this to be, I have no macabre secrets or ghosts to expel. As I utter my final breaths into these pages, please know that my advice is heartfelt. For all that is perceived of my character I am not generally a bad person. It is easy for one such as myself to sit down to pen and paper and write about scenes from your most horrific nightmares. However this does not mean I truly am these figures I create. I have been labeled many things, ranging from demonic wordsmith to a godsend of poetry. For all the titles I have received so many forget that I am nothing more then a person with a canvas and ink.
Now, as my candle begins to drift off into eternal sleep and the waters consume ever more of me I have but one thing to tell you. Many people will say not to confuse what is real with what is not, I will do no such thing. These worlds I, and people like me create are as real as anything you see before you. The only thing is, the reality of it all is simply in the mind of the beholder. We make the worlds and use words to construct them but it is up to you to bring them to life. We give you the blocks to build onward, to interpret these universes as you desire. Please remember, everything is up to you, because without you our worlds are nothing.
~Khons

Things beginning to set in

2007-08-16T06:28:55Z

As I set here and type this know that to say i'm freaking out on the inside is a gross understatement.

Now, to explain better. I have the stress of my H.S Diploma and G.E.D over and done with so you think i'd be more calm and optimistic about life right? Well sadly this is not the case. I guess i'll just start listing things off.

First and probably most importantly my boyfriend is leaving on the 25th to go back out to college, meaning over the next like, 9 months ill be lucky if i see him from a total of 5 weeks. And along with him leaving comes with the loneliness, worry, stress, ect. I don't really know how to handle this, I'm not gonna bug him about it cause hes going through the same thing I am so to avoid us both being openly depressed I am going to hold it in but of course then its gonna eat at me until i break down, which is already starting.

Next up is me finding a job. Now, this would'nt be a problem if I drove, but I don't. And it takes time to get a liscense and a car. So this limits the places of which i can apply to by a lot. Let alone alot of these places aren't even worth applying to. (Fast food places, gas stations, ect)

Third is all the college stuff I have to get done. Seriously, i've been close to tears worrying about it. Actually past tears a couple times now. I know where I want to go school, however I find myself constantly wondering, "Am I gonna get enough financial aid/loans to pay for it, am i gonna get accepted, are my G.E.D scores good enough, will my SAT scores be high enough, will they like me enough, will I stand out at all, will they think I even have the mental capacity for a reed student?" Even one who is friends with me on LJ should know that I don't like myself, I always bring myself down and have no faith in myself what so ever. Its bad, but thats the way I am, I can't help it at this point in time.

Also if I don't get into Reed it could potentially destroy my relationship. Yes for the few of you who read this and don't know this is the school my boyfriend goes to. And before anyone says anything, no, he is not the only reason I want to go to this school. After being there for a few weeks at the end of the last semester I, you know, I can't really find any words for it. Everything just felt right there. And real quick, my family makes nearly no money. I will get 0 help from them, not because they don't want to but because they can't. When my Dad had a decent job for himself he maybe made 25K a year, plus now hes been unemployed for months again.

Anyway, I'll shut up now, just had to get everything out somewhere.

POSSIBLY MOST IMPORTANT THING OF MY LIFE OVER WITH

2007-08-03T04:14:30Z

So, i got some of the most important news of my life today. Before what I say it is let me just explain that ive had alot of difficulty with High School. All of which was caused by a medical condition which prevented me from attending 5-6 years of school (7-12 grade). I was on home schooling for a while done through the local schools but after a while they stopped helping. So basicaly ive almost no high school taught to me.

Over the last two days I began taking my G.E.D test, i got my results today.

In order to pass the test I needed a total score of 2250 and an average of 450 on each of the five parts of the test....

I passed with a 3250 and average score of 650!!!!!! I got the max score possible in the reading section and a 690 in writing, the max being an 800.

So all in all I end up getting a diploma(well, equivalent) just like as though i went through school normally.

So im done with school and I passed with really, really good stats. Next up, taking SATs and applying to colleges.

^_^!!!!!!!!!!

firewolf209 @ 2007-07-03T00:40:00

2007-07-03T04:41:34Z

firewolf209 @ 2007-06-30T16:06:00

2007-06-30T20:08:01Z

I'm tired of existing.